Fuck... bugger

I don't know how to explain how I feel. I think my depression is coming back. I feel totally blah. Just like everything sucks. I can't concentrate, I can't think straight, I can't do shit.

Maybe I need to go for another run, but what the fuck will that accomplish?

Fuck.

computers

I a sick and fucking tired of accountants that do not have a intermediate or advanced knowledge of excel, word, adobe and computers in general. In order to work in accounting you must have these skills! Quit sending shit to me and saying "I can't open this", Or worse cant switch from regular view to page break preview. Seriously TAKE A CLASS dumbass!

Stress

Does not do a body good.

rant

I was talking to someone about the P90X workout and pull ups. This person stated that women cannot do pull ups and she has no desire to even try. Well, excuse me but there are thousands of women that do pull ups. Marine corp women have to do it to pass the PT test. Correct me if I am wrong. Ugh! I hate ignorant people.

Now the next rant is religion so if you don't like it, stop reading now.


Two people discussing lent. One guy said there is a difference between not eating and fasting. With fasting you pray to god for help through and he will help you make it and you will not starve. SERIOUSLY! In both cases you are not eating. Without nutrients you will die. I hate when people discuss religion at work. I can't wait until lent is over!

Thank you

Thank you for putting me back in my place. I understand that I am usurping your space for my needs and I realize that it's a huge inconvenience for you. Thank you for reminding me that my presence adds no real value to you and to your life. I wish you could've done all this without verbally humiliating me and abusing me like you did, but I guess I needed to hear it like that so it would get through my thick head. You were right about one thing, when I can, I will leave.

Words

The last conversation we had, 3 times you mentioned..."If I could do A, would you marry me" Umm...I would marry you anyway, dumbass. And A is physically impossible. But I would like for you to try to do it. But stop with the marry crap. I know that you NEVER want to get married so you are just teasing me. It is not fair. I will make you pay for torturing me with all of this marriage talk.

sensitivity

I am seriously tired of people being over sensitive. We are doing a weight challenge at work. 6 weeks of boot camp and following a meal plan.

Last night, my coworker was talking to her husband on the phone. She gave him a list of stuff to get at the grocery store. He did not get any of it. Of course he is fit but he follows all sorts of weird meal plans. He can do whatever he wants because he bikes about 100+ miles a week.

So of course I said something about people sabotaging meal plans. It is a fact that the people closest to you are the ones that consciously or unconsciously sabotage your meal plan. He is not doing on purpose, I am sure. She got all defensive and pissy. Like I was saying her hubby is a jackass. Excuse me if he is a jackass i will tell you so. Quit being so defensive.

That makes me wonder if she doth protest too much. Maybe he is actively sabotaging her meal plan. I really don't give a fuck either way. So back off bitch and quit giving me grief because you are bitching about your effin husband. I am SO sick and tired of this bullshit. Got a job opening sent to me for Fort Bliss. I might just fuckin' go.

Tenacious D - Tribute

The best song in the world.

Tenacious D - Tribute

Name change

Going to finally get it done tomorrow. Well at least I am going to try. The damn lines are so long it might not happen but I hope so.

Ellis, now that is a much better last name then the one I have.

Plus I will get to put my first and last name both on the calculator again!!!

317718 (BILLIE) 51773 (ELLIS)

That has been amusing me since I was about 7 years old.

FTL

Cause this can't possibly be my life, f*ck that one!

Blue box

On the radio this morning they were talking about a gift that was in the "blue box". I had no idea what they were talking about. So I had to look it up, guess it is for Tiffany and Co. It does not seem to be a big deal to me since I have never gotten anything from there, but still. Maybe I just don't like overpriced stuff that much. And that is an ugly color of blue anyway.

Serenity NOW

Just saying.

Response to Blech

yes, I cannot comment so I have to do a post. Damn IT guys.

We can teach Bruno to dance and dress him up and make tourists pay money to take a picture with him.

We can make a little cane, cup and have glasses for Boone. He can beg money from kind strangers.

I'm in. :)

Blech

Brad's getting married. He's moving to San Antonio TODAY.

Great, right?

Except... now what do I do? Choose between my job and kids? He wanted to take Haley with him (can you say Oh, HELL no!?) Only, now I'm doing some serious juggling to take care of the classes I already have on the schedule and wondering how I can schedule future ones....

Obviously, there's no choice, but... why when things just seem like they might be getting easier? Nice notice. Ugh. FML.

Also, the kids are not happy about it. Actually, Carsten does seem kind of happy about it, but even stated, "Is he allowed to do that to you?" - from the mouths of babes.

Haley is all teary. I think she feels like he's deserting her. And I guess in a nine-year-old's mind he is. The fiance can't move here 'cause SHE has a residency restiction because of her kids. So he's choosing to move there. To Haley it must seem like he's choosing Janet's kids over her.

What a mess.

Good news, he breaks the 50 mile BS clause in the custody papers, it gets lifted from me as well (ssshhhh, don't tell him).

I'm moving to the beach to live in a hut where my crafty daughter can make necklaces to sell and I can rent my beastly son out for slave labor... while I drink margaritas. Anyone else coming?

Yes, Virginia.

There are baked goods and salsa in my freezer.

13 pounds down - new workouts, but thankfully not kickboxing (ribs still intact).

Only one person who reads this will know what I'm asking:

When did I finally quit last time?

The sunscreen song

This caught my attention since I recently had a friend ask me for advise on life.

"Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth."

Something wrong with me

Why do I suddenly want everything. Better house, better car, more things inside my house, trips to places I have never been, stuff for the kids.... I just don;t understand why all of the sudden I am not happy with what I have.

I have never been a grass is greener on the other side person before. I like my grass not matter how brown it was. But now I am wanting more.

Guess I will work through this, I have to. I will not have spending money until all the kids more out for sure. Until then I will have to figure out what is most important and work on saving till I can get it. Sigh....

rant

Ok, I have been saving up for a while.

1. Why don’t people listen. I told you that I want you to do one thing. I don’t care how pretty it is as long as you get it done. So why do you care that that box overlaps the other one. I DON’T CARE!!!! JUST GET IT DONE!!!
2. People suck. How can someone not see that the poor dog was really sick? And then is so stubborn that when people offered to take the dog you won’t let them have it. You only give him to someone after the media highlights the poor dogs story and you get negative attention. The dog has no skull musculature you insensitive mother fucker. Blind, emaciated, yet still striving for a little love and attention and you left her tied outside. You better hope I never actually set eyes on you. I can’t even do an internet search to read her story because if I find out who you are I am going to come to your house and beat the living hell out of you.

You suck

Dear Universe,

You suck. You're like that crazy aunt that gives you all the ingredients to make a cake instead of just giving you a baked cake.

I asked you for very specific things, which you didn't deliver. Instead you gave me ideas and guidance for how I can obtain what I asked for.

I think I understand where you're going with this, but it still sucks. Now, I have to do all the work, and I'm just too lazy.

Actually, I totally understand where you're going with this.

Anything worth obtaining, is worth fighting and working for.

On second thought, you don't suck, you just have weird methods.

Getting in line....

Since we're making requests of the universe:

I'd like to stop being neurotic. Please.

I'd like the winning lotto ticket too, but I'll settle for the first.

I'd also like a trimmer waistline (or waste line as the case may be), but I'm figuring on having to take care of that myself.

Regular sex might not be too far off the charts either, but I'm pretty sure I'll get a mold of the perfect cock someday... until then BOB XV will do.

I'm afraid I have nothing to offer in trade except the knowledge that you will have saved those around me a smidgeon of sanity.