Since we're making requests of the universe:
I'd like to stop being neurotic. Please.
I'd like the winning lotto ticket too, but I'll settle for the first.
I'd also like a trimmer waistline (or waste line as the case may be), but I'm figuring on having to take care of that myself.
Regular sex might not be too far off the charts either, but I'm pretty sure I'll get a mold of the perfect cock someday... until then BOB XV will do.
I'm afraid I have nothing to offer in trade except the knowledge that you will have saved those around me a smidgeon of sanity.